What To Expect at Our Retreats

Tony Nguyễn Wiederhold (bio)
Revised February 25, 2025

We welcome practitioners of all experience levels at our retreats. That said, if you do not have a regular meditation practice, I recommend that you attend some our our free, online meditation practices our our weekend in-person practices so that you get a feel for our style and how we practice. While we are not a religious organization, our practice forms are rooted in Zen Buddhist traditions, Vietnamese Buddhist traditions, and community care.

What is a retreat?

Our retreats are periods of continuous silent practice, including seated and walking meditation, mindful movement, and mindful eating, where you get to exist and practice not-pretending in caring community with others for an entire day or multiple days. You get a break from engaging in conversation and making eye contact. The silence makes it easier to practice resting and unclenching that part of your brain that creates concepts and words. In the silence is intimacy with your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. By practicing easing towards thoughts and feelings and seeing what is underneath them — stories, assumptions, habits, impressions, sensations, and lots of other things — you create conditions to be at ease with yourself, which leads to clarity, sincerity, and confidence. 

Here is a typical one-day retreat schedule:

7:30am Arrive and enjoy breakfast
9:00am Retreat orientation
9:30am Quiet movement practice
10:00am Quiet seated and walking meditation (25 min seated/5 min walking)
12:00pm Lunch
1:00pm Quiet seated and walking meditation (25 min seated/5 min walking)
3:30pm Writing
4:00pm Closing circle
5:30pm Depart

We’re here to support you. Your practice lifts up everyone.

We design our retreats to be supportive spaces where all you have to do is exist as you are and practice. We provide delicious, fresh vegan meals, drinks, cushions, mats, masks, sanitizer, and other supplies. We do ask that retreat participants bring a bowl, spoon, and mug to minimize the amount of trash that we generate. 

Our Retreat Volunteers practice with you, guide practices, and do lots of things behind the scenes to make the retreat as smooth as possible for everyone. They are sincere, compassionate people who care about the well-being of others, are excellent listeners, and have practiced meditation diligently for years. Their bodhisattva (humanitarian) spirit shows up in all aspects of their lives. 

Your presence and practice in the group supports everyone else’s practice, too. Your attitude of care, grace, and consideration for others is reflected in how you conduct yourself in the retreat, even when observing silence. This has big effects both inward and outward.    

Meditation practice is not trying to like everything all the time. It is also not about becoming an unthinking, unfeeling robot. It is a practice of facing whatever circumstances you are in with honesty. While practice does create the circumstances for courage, ease, and peace of mind, it can also bring awareness of unpleasant thoughts and memories, intense emotions, and uncomfortable body sensations and the grief that comes along with those experiences. These can be overwhelming under certain circumstances. If you find yourself struggling with your experience or in distress during a practice, please take a break, do what you need to in order to care for yourself, and ask one of our retreat volunteers for support.

Silence

We practice silence after the retreat orientation and continue through the end of the final sitting practice. For multi-day retreats, silent practice is continuous over the multiple days of the retreat. During this time, please refrain from speaking, making eye contact, reading, writing, or looking at your phone. Choosing not to distract yourself in these ways reveals a lot of mind-stuff, like habits and tendencies. Do this not only for yourself but also out of consideration for your fellow practitioners. How you carry and conduct yourself has being effects both on them and on you. Practice silence even while eating or walking to and from the bathroom. When you’re eating, eat. When you’re walking, walk. When you’re peeing, pee. 

Dharma Chats

At some retreats, participants will have the option to have a 7 minute 1:1 dharma chat in a private setting with one of our Practice Leaders during the sitting and walking meditation portions of the retreat. This is an opportunity for you to clarify, articulate, or ask about some aspect of your practice, a circumstance in your life, or something you are experiencing. You are welcome to share whatever you like and welcome to not share what you want to keep private. We’re here to listen and reflect, not to offer unsolicited advice.

Dharma chats will start after the first sitting period, usually beginning with the next person counterclockwise from the timekeeper. You are free to accept the chat or pass.

Circle Etiquette

Please help keep the practice space, mats, and cushions clean. Do not wear footwear while sitting on the mats and cushions. Keep food, drinks, and outside shoes outside of the practice space. 

We’ll arrange the mats and cushions in a round shape. Do your best to keep this space extra clean. Our experienced retreat participants and Retreat Volunteers will take certain spots so that you can follow their lead as we transition from practice to practice. At some point before the retreat orientation, we’ll invite all participants to claim an open spot in the circle. It’s ok to bring your own cushion, meditation bench, or chair. Err on the side of ease and comfort.

When you arrive at your seat for orientation, stand in front of your seat on the inside of the circle and bow to it. Turn around and sit down facing the inside of the circle, bow to the circle, and settle into your sitting posture. More on posture below.

1. Always walk behind people who are sitting. Please refrain from crossing the circle at any point during the retreat. 

2. When seated, please find ease in your sitting position and do your best to stay still. Be mindful of the effects of sudden movements on your fellow practitioners. If you absolutely must move, bow first to thank your neighbors for their understanding. 

3. Do your best to leave the practice area only during walking meditation, during our scheduled breaks, or if it is your turn for a dharma chat. If you need to get up to leave the practice area during sitting practice, bow before getting up and walk behind other practitioners out of consideration for them. 

Seated Meditation (Zazen)

The majority of practice is comprised of 25 minute periods of seated meditation practice followed by 5 – 10 minute periods of walking meditation. We face the inside of the circle for the first and last periods of sitting and face outward for all other sitting periods. 

The following is an abbreviated version of our How To Meditate page. Please refer to it for more and reach out to us if you have questions.

How To Use A Cushion

Cross-legged

Cushions elevate your pelvis relative to your knees, which tends to make it easier to sit with ease. To sit cross-legged, sit on the broad, flat side of cushion so that your knees fall below your hips. For many people, sitting with one leg in front of the other is easiest. Note which leg is in front of the other. You may wish to switch the next period. Some people are more comfortable in lotus or half lotus, but this is not so common.

Kneeling

Many people find kneeling to be comfortable. Using the cushion on edge to support  kneeling posture seems to be easier for many bodies, but some people prefer to kneel with the cushion flat. 

Posture

A big aspect of seated meditation is practicing ease, and that starts with posture, or how you arrange your body. You may use a chair, cushion, bench, or other prop to make sitting easier. Laying down is ok, but it takes up more space, can make it more difficult to stay still (visually quiet for your neighbors), and can make it more likely that you’ll fall asleep. 

Sit such that you can let your leg muscles relax while keeping your torso light and upright rather than leaning into a wall or chair back. Allow your ears to float above your shoulders. Do your best to find ease and effortlessness. 

Notice where there is uncomfortable compression or uncomfortable stretch and if you are squeezing (activating or contracting) muscles to avoid those sensations. Allow the squeezing to soften and readjust your sitting position to lighten those uncomfortable sensations. 

To help keep your back relaxed, you might try lifting your sternum, or rolling the shoulders down and back, or squeezing the spot just below your belly button in a little bit. Every body is different. You’ll learn what you need to do to stay upright, yet relaxed. 

Notice how breathing relates to this sense of lightness in the chest and back. 

Place your hands in a comfortable place. I rest my hands in my lap, left hand palm-up resting in my right hand with the thumbs lightly touching. 

I recommend sitting with eyes open. You can try eyes open and eyes closed and observe the effects.

When you notice that you’re leaning one way or another, or feel muscles tensing up, or have otherwise drifted away from your light, easy posture, just allow the tension to soften a little bit and reset. This is totally normal. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or a bad meditator. It just means you’re a human being. These moments are opportunities to be at ease with yourself and honest about what you’re experiencing.

Back Tapper (Whacker)

Occasionally during seated meditation, one of our Retreat Volunteers will come around and offer to tap you on each side of your upper back using a keisaku, a flat wooden stick. Accepting these offers is up to you. It only happens if you opt in in the moment. We’ll show you in the retreat orientation how to signal that you’d like this pleasant smack on the back. Here’s a picture of Sarah practicing her back tapping technique on Lauren from our New Years Day 2022 Retreat.

Breathing

Breathing in, this is breathing in.
Letting go, this is breathing out.   

Breathe in and out through your nose. You might notice that when you breathe in, you feel a little squeeze just below your ribcage, downward pressure into your belly, and stretch on the belly wall as it expands. When you let go, your breath returns to the air effortlessly. Notice how breathing in relates to the sense of lightness in your upper body posture. Notice also that letting go releases your breath to the air. Notice how letting go of the breath relates to letting go of tension in other parts of your body, and how that affects your relationship to tension in your mind. Sitting with ease, breathing with ease, and being at ease are related.  

It is not necessary to breathe in any particular way when meditating. I don’t typically put any special attention on breathing while sitting. At the beginning of meditation, I inhale to the top of my breath — the point where breathing in deeper involves a lot of effort — hold for a couple of heartbeats, and release. I might repeat that a few times before releasing my attention from my breath. This helps me relax when I feel upset, agitated, or nervous as well. 

Allowing Your Thinking-Mind To Rest

There is nothing to achieve and nothing to attain. Meditation practice is not striving, not working on concentration, not reaching for any particular experience. You get to be yourself and let go of pretending.

Part of being human is having a brain that forms concepts and ideas, “thoughts”. Any time we use words, we activate this. This is why we practice in silence, so that it is easier to let this part of our brain rest. Thoughts include the stories you tell yourself, explanations, conclusions, justifications, narratives, etc. These thoughts come from somewhere. Underneath them are feelings — reactions you have to inputs from the senses, including feelings themselves. Allowing the thinking-mind to rest means allowing the thought-maker to coast to a natural stop, like a bowling ball rolling into sand. You can also think of this as setting them aside, or putting them down, as if they were a backpack full of rocks, so that you may disengage from building on it. Many times, thinking is related to ignoring something, or pretending something that is there isn’t. To ignore something involves this thinking-mind. So, the practice of allowing this part of your brain to rest is also the practice of not-ignoring and acceptance. This is not-pretending.

You might notice that there’s a little bit of physical strain and muscle tension related both to forming concepts and to ignoring. Allow this tension to soften a little bit and all of the things underneath the thought reveal themselves. You may notice a reluctance to acknowledge what is there. Allow yourself to unclench and be at ease with whatever is present and you may find that there is something under that, too. The Japanese Zen Master Dogen wrote, “Sit solidly in samadhi and think not-thinking. How do you think not-thinking? This is the art of zazen.” 

Sitting practice is allowing what is in your experience to come into focus and become clear, like a scene in a camera, or water in a stream. By allowing yourself to face whatever is there, by unclenching, and letting go of strain, you can see a clear, full picture. Sitting is an opportunity to practice turning toward whatever is present and being honest with yourself. Facing what is present and accepting it is, as Dogen wrote, “the dharma gate of great ease and joy.” This is being at peace. This is also the beginning of Right Action. Community care happens when a group of people see unjust and harmful conditions and collaborate to reduce harm.  

Sitting is also an opportunity to practice being gentle and kind both to yourself and to whatever guests (sensations, feelings, stories) arrive. Allow any tension or squeezing of muscles to soften a little bit, just like letting go of your in-breath and allowing the breath to return to the air. This tension in your body is related to suffering, the distance between the way things are and your ideas about the way things are. You can see whatever arises and all of the conditions underneath them.

The Four Foundations of Mindfulness are a helpful list of things you might notice: 
1. body sensations (inputs; sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, and mind-stuff, like memories, other stories you tell yourself, emotions, explanations, speculation), 
2. feelings (reactions to sensations; like and dislike, which can also elicit feelings; ever have a feeling about a feeling?), 
3. cognition/mental formations (habits, conditioning, impressions, discrimination, biases, ill will, willful ignorance, strain, struggle, etc.), and
4. phenomena/circumstances (how things are related to one another and affect each other)

Only you can know what you experience. Whatever it is, you’re doing it right.

Walking Meditation

We practice walking meditation as a group, walking counterclockwise behind our cushions. While walking, do your best to carry your body with ease and quiet. Just like in seated meditation, practice being at ease with whatever is on your heart. There’s nothing to achieve or attain. Walking in a circle, every participant is both leading and following, and how you practice has an effect on everyone else. This may result in feelings arising in you and habits and tendencies becoming clear.

We use bells and claps to signal transitions during silent practice.

1. To signal the transition from seated to walking meditation, the timekeeper will invite a bell once. When you hear this, bow, stand up, and move to the outside of the circle facing your cushion. Bow to your cushion and thank it for supporting you, and turn to face the counterclockwise direction. Make sure that you have feeling in your feet and legs before standing up. It is easy to fall or sprain your ankle when standing up with a sleeping limb. Take your time. Life’s too short to be in a hurry. 

2. Place your left fist in your right palm and hold your hands just below your ribcage. When you hear the timekeeper clap, start walking. Match pace and maintain space with the person in front of you. Notice what arises as you walk: sensations, feelings, mind-stuff, thoughts and ideas about things. Do your best to let your thinking-mind rest.

3. When you hear a double clap, quicken your pace. Maintain the space between you and the person in front of you.

4. When you hear a single clap, return to slower pace.

5. When you hear another single clap, continue walking meditation around the circle until you return to your cushion. When you arrive, turn and face in the direction of your cushion and stand with light posture.

6. When everyone has returned to their cushion, the timekeeper will clap. At that time, bow to your cushion, thank it for supporting your practice, and sit. 

If you need to leave the practice area during walking meditation, veer off in a quiet way. When you return to the practice area during walking meditation, rejoin your spot in line in a quiet way.

Breaks

You are free to excuse yourself from the practice area to use the bathroom or get a drink of water. Please be considerate of others. The ideal time to quietly take a break is during the walking meditation. Do your best to take care of business efficiently and return to the practice area ASAP. Maintain your silent practice.

Other Transitions during Silent Practice

Moktak – Go to your meditation seat.

Retreat days are broken up into a morning meditation session and an afternoon meditation session with lunch in between. The signal to make your way to the cushion at the beginning of each session is from the moktak, a hollow sounding wooden bell. When you hear it, finish what you are doing and make your way to your cushion.

Three Bells – Beginning and End of Morning/Afternoon/Evening Sessions

The timekeeper will invite a bell to ring three times at the beginning and end of each major practice session. Each time you hear the bell, take a breath and let it return to the air with the fading sound. After the third bell at the end of sitting periods, bow in the direction you are sitting. When you hear the bells at the end of the morning session, you may get your bowl, mug, and utensils and head towards the lunch area.

After Silent Practice

After the last silent session in the afternoon (for multi-day retreats, this is only on the last day), we’ll have writing time. Exposure to speech can be quite jarring in the time immediately following a long period of silence, so please take care of each other. Do your best to refrain from talking during writing time. After writing time, you’ll have the opportunity to share whatever you like with the group during the closing circle.

Thanks for reading! I look forward to practicing with you at an upcoming retreat. Please reach out with any questions or comments.

– Tony
tony@indycommunityyoga.org